Just thoughts that came up in light of my Mother’s uncle’s death…
Why do relationships become more distant when you get older? I’m sure Amma knew her Chithappa just as well as I know mine now, when she was younger … why then is his death not important enough to drop everything and go there? Why is it so complicated? Maybe she is justified in not going… I don’t know… but why do relationships fade in importance when you are older? Why does it become ok to not fulfil some basic obligations? Obligations that to me seem most imperative at this point of my life. I can’t imagine, doing this if God FORBID I was in her position … But when I’m older… Will it actually become alright and forgivable that I don’t? I’m so… distressed by this. . I’m still somewhere in the entrance of this ‘Adult World’. Each day I learn new things about it that only dismay me. My opinion of it falls lower and lower each time … lesser and lesser do I want to belong there…
i just had to let it out .. so i typed it onto word .. put it up as a blog as an afterthought
Idealism is inversely proportional to aging. As we get older, mundane activities like existence or events beyond our control or often feeling helpless makes one emotionally paralyzed.
When one dear to us is alive, our tendency is to ignore all the positive aspects of that person but to focus on the few warts that person has. Why, I don’t know. We seldom cherish what we have but yearn for something someone else has.
Niece when you are young, ask questions but be prepared for not getting crisp answers and some day you will figure out why some things happened. If you clutter your mind with impatience to find the answers, you are denying yourself the opportunity to view life in a detached manner.
Hmmm . Yes Mama I will remember what you said about waiting for answers patiently, I feel sad though, to think that more that one sees of life the more we tend to lose our ideals … I’m prepared to agree that sometimes this can be positive too . Life and reality can help break certain set notions which we may cling onto though they may not necessarily be constructive …. but many times I just find things pretty disheartening . I’m starting to get disillusioned by many things a little too early on in life !
It is good to see that you ponder over events and question things. One thing that happens is that many older people are typically not in the line of active communication. Life becomes too busy. Our priorities tend not to include them. There is an expectation of our elders passing away as they get to be old and this gets to be a matter of fact. As I am getting into the sunrise age of my senality, I start to see the inevitability of this.